1. Terrance Howard got let go from Iron Man 2? I guess it really is hard out there for a pimp.

2. How can a prison be over crowded? It’s prison! I picture all prisons being like the Amistad. People’s hands and faces pressed against the bars because there is no room inside. Not saying that it’s right but that’s the image in my head that keeps me from going to prison. Well that and coerced sodomy.

3. I don’t ask couples how they met. I ask how did ya’ll stay together? I’m deep.

4. Amazing how every media personality was pissed about Tiger’s press conference but they still managed to cover it.

5. People ask me when we’re going to have a kid. I don’t know but I already kind of have a kid. It’s my wife. She watches cartoons all day and goes to bed early and I kind of have to fuss at her to get her to clean up. Isn’t that enough?

6. At this point there have been so many lame “American Pie” straight to DVD rip-offs why can’t they just release a soft core DVD of all their nudity in these horrible movies?

7. Am I the only one who has a problem with the girl from Precious also being nominated for her role as the Michael Orr in “The Blind Side”?

8. Al Gore invented the internet because he was banned from the adult video store. True story.

9. If a fantasy football team owner dies, how long do you have to wait before approaching the league for his old spot?

10. I wonder how awkward it was for white people who were big fans of Public Enemy? Some of those songs were pretty bitter.

11. I told a story on The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast where I tried to protect people’s anonymity. One of my Facebook friends hits me up and adds the name of the guy who the story was about to his wall post on my page. WTF man? And if you’re reading this blog post: Yes that was about you Jason. lol

12. I want to start my own line of nerd apparel with t-shirts that have slogans like, “Having Lunch Money is overrated.”

13. If I’m 50 Cent I call up Tiger Woods right now and sign him to Vitamin Water.

14. If you think about it Monsters Inc was about two gay dudes adopting an Asian baby. This movie was visionary.

This season of the Boondocks has been received with mixed reviews. While the season hasn’t ended yet, I can see why some people would think it’s been subpar thus far. For one, we’re judging this season on a per episode basis. I saw the same thing happen with the second season too. On the hip hop message board that I used to frequent people would comment after every episode of the second season as if it was the end of the world. Now that time has passed it seems that universal consensus is that the second season was excellent when judged as an entire body of work. I’m not saying this season is the same as the second but I would like to view it in its entirety before judging it to be subpar.

Making a satirical show about black culture in America is very difficult to do. There is a lot of timeliness involved with pop culture and the cycle of relevancy is speeding up. Taking a two year break sort of hurts the content of these episodes. This is evidenced by Chappelle’s struggles to make it through just three seasons of his own show. Once a show like The Boondocks becomes known for its biting wit and brash statement on controversial topics, people can’t help but to tune in. And that’s when the suits come in. You know the suits right? The guys who banned two episodes of The Boondocks second season because they were critical of Viacom subsidiary “BET”? Things like this mess up a comedic artist.

The truth that people find in humor can’t really succeed when it’s being censored heavily. The first time you tell Aaron McGruder what he CAN’T say or do you’re hurting your product. That’s the irony of “suits” coming in after a show has become popular only to make changes that corrupt the original vision that made said show so damned popular in the first place. What does this have to do with Season 3?

On Aaron MacGuder’s twitter page he had an ominous tweet that hinted at the start of this season that this would indeed be the last season of the Boondocks. McGruder himself seemed unwilling to do much promotion for his own product. Maybe his vision for the Boondocks wasn’t about catchy sayings on T-shirts or coffee mugs. What was apparent though is that these shows are almost all filled with more content than needed. It’s like he knew that this was his last chance to get his take on things out to the public through this medium.

Some episodes seem simply crammed with content. It seems like it would take more than 20 minutes to convey a complete look at the entirety of the success of Tyler Perry and the effects on the black community. Even the first episode about Barrack Obama getting support because of his skin color, sex appeal and speaking ability seemed sort of rushed. Admittedly, expectations were probably TOO high for many fans that have been waiting over 2 years for the series to come back to Cartoon Network.

I’ve watched every episode at least 3 times and I’ve found that there is normally extra depth to be found in each one. This is something I’ve always done even in first season but this is the first time where I’ve felt that I HAD to watch each episode more than once to find the messages. I don’t think that is a good thing. The goal of good writing is to compel you to follow along but not make you feel like you’re working for it. I felt like I was doing work to find the point of several episodes this season. Without knowing all the behind the scenes stuff with the writing staff and company censors I’m still going to speculate on what I think happened.

I think McGruder is now trying to rush and get the last word on everything he wants to speak on while hiding some of his more controversial subject matter in the script. I don’t know if that is “funny” and I always thought the first goal of the show was to be funny in the prior seasons. I can’t wait until this season is over so that I can judge it as an entire arc because judging episode by episode is not the way to go. Sometimes you need distance to truly appreciate something like The Boondocks. I remember how angry people were about the comments of Uncle Rukus in the “Katrina” episode last year. Now that episode is widely praised by my circle of friends.

The topics this year have been about homophobia, the black church, political racism, racism helping to bring people together, misplaced nationalism and the parallels between drug dealing and school fund raisers. In short, it’s been all over the place and even if this season turns out to be the worst of the three that’s really not a diss. The first two seasons were among the best TV shows I’ve ever seen so I can forgive a subpar third season if things do indeed end up that way. If McGruder does choose to stop doing this show because of the pressures of success or censorship then I think this season’s failure to hit home is really on the suits at Cartoon Network. The stone that the builder refused indeed.

Take the phone off “speaker” please…

One part water and two parts crack… sounds good.

1. Stores hire security guards. Is there any way that people with fragile egos could hire “insecurity guards”? That way I’d never have to deal with your bullshit. Before I get ready to make a joke or observation about whatever it is that you’re sensitive about an “Insecurity guard” could step in and warn me with his flashlight.

2. I’ve never ordered a “flavor bowl” from KFC or Bojangles. I know slavery food when I see it. It’s basically the leftovers from all the other product they can’t sell individually thrown in a mash up and gravy is poured all over that crap. Every time someone orders that stuff they should have to speak in slave English. I’m going to just start calling them “Slaver Bowls”.

3. I’m fat. Now that we’ve got that out the way let me tell you about this epiphany I had. As you know KFC came out with the Double Down “sandwich” a few weeks ago. Ever since that I’ve been contemplating food and the companies that slang it. Our food is a crack now. Every time you pull up to a drivethru you’re consuming some crack. I can’t help but think that these companies are out to kill us. They know we’re addicted and that we can’t quit so they are just getting worse and worse.

That reminds me of the financial crisis. The reason we’re in this crisis is because of shady “tools” that were used to bet on stocks without actually creating any money. The deregulation of the financial industry happened through lobbying for political favors. Laws were repealed or relaxed and now we’re screwed. Well how is that different than the “double down”? Food has just gotten worse and shadier over the past 20 years while the country has gotten fatter and fatter. It’s the same damned thing as the financial crisis. We’re in a food crisis.

4. I think I piss people off with the way I talk sometimes. I use words for accuracy’s sake without regard to the emotional attachments that some people have to those words. I said that the newest Arizona law was “profiling and harassment” but before I could actually say how I felt about it Darric cut me off. It’s like he was going to defend the fact that it was necessary to profile people for this law to be implemented. My point wasn’t if it was right or wrong it was simply that this law is the definition of those two terms if you’re just a law abiding American citizen who gets pulled over on suspicion of being illegal. That being said I think I’m for this bill because I want to see what happens. Let’s find out who’s right on a trial basis before trying to do this nationally. We need some test runs at the state level. That’s how our system should work.

5. I’m going to start defending athletes who are accused of committing outlandish crimes by citing their on the field accolades.
A. Did you hear LT raped someone? “What? Nah man. He’s a hall of famer!”
B. “How could Tiger cheat on his wife man? He won the masters! He’s innocent.”

6. Putting toothpaste on your vagina doesn’t prevent pregnancy or disease. That’s a different type of “cavity protection”.

7. I want to invent an “ex-cersize” class. It’s a work out class at a gym where we bring your ex-lovers by to look at you. It would be great motivation to get in shape and stay in shape while gloating. Everyone likes to look better than their ex-lovers right?

8. Stephen Hawking – inventor of auto-tunes.

9. Between Big Ben and LT it’s really getting to the point where you can’t rape ANYONE these days. Jeez!

10. I’m not a fan of Andy Rooney. He’s out of touch and old. That being said, I think I would be willing to watch a TV show where Andy Rooney played the role of a judge like, “Judge Judy”. I’d just like to hear him go on rhetorical rants while the people on trial would wait impatiently for him to get on with his ruling. How could this not work?

11. The other day the spell check on my iPhone corrected a typo to “strike”. So instead of “Can I stroke them titties?” which is funny and honest it became, “Can I strike them titties?” which is a abusive and ridiculous. The worst part is that the answer was yes. Am I in a relationship with a masochist and I just discovered it? Or did she already know it was a typo? Only one way to find out….

12. I want to create a show called, “To Catch A Creditor” where people who owe money to credit cards can find the employee who calls their house during dinner to harass them about money owed. It’s not nearly as honorable as Chris Hansen’s show but it does rhyme.

13. June is officially Sundress month! Ladies… get to shopping!