The Black Guy Who Tips

A Free Comedy Talk Show With the Motto - Nothing's Wrong If It's Funny

Mandatory Blackness Assignment: D’Jango Review. Due by February 28th

a_610x408

INSTRUCTOR NAME: The Spirit Of All Our Black Ancestors
COURSE NUMBER/COURSE TITLE: D’Jango Unchained In The African American Diaspora
TITLE OF ASSIGNMENT:
  • D’Jango Unchained Thesis
DESCRIPTION OF ASSIGNMENT:
  • All black people with anything higher than a high school diploma must construct some form of media about the social / societal ramifications of the movie Quentin Tarantino’s D’jango Unchained by the end of Black History Month. Those with  multiple degrees or post college graduate education must submit longer forms of D’jango analysis.
PURPOSE OF ASSIGNMENT:
  • The purpose of this assignment is to verify your status in the African American diaspora by overly pontificating on the 2 hour and 45 minute Spaghetti Western involving one white man’s take on slavery as a background.
  • As a bonus you may also use this assignment to prove how much smarter and sophisticated you are than other negroes through your love / hatred or indifference of D’Jango Unchained.
  • Black people will also use this assignment to promote the viewing of other black cinema about slavery such as Roots, Amistad and Precious.
PROCESS:
• Make a list of preliminary Resources for this project.Preliminary Resources for this project include Roots, A Fistful of Dollars, Amistad, Precious, Madea Goes To Jail, Pariah, Red Hook Summer, The Color Purple and all Quentin Tarantino movies. You may also read books such as Roots, Beloved, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Madea Goes To Jail and Encyclopedia Brown.
• Read and Explore resources related to your project. Black people must read and explore resources related to your project or not read them but at least cite them as if you understand. For example:“Yeah yeah I get that the movie is supposed to be based off of Sergio Romero (Pronounced: Leone) films but it’s historically inaccurate.”“I know Spike Lee made Do The Right Thing but fuck that nigga. He ain’t made a good movie in 10 years!”• formulate a research question that you hope to answer. Questions such as:“Why is Spike Lee a bitch ass hater who don’t want to see a movie about slavery?”“Who the fuck does Dick Gregory think he is?”

“Which utterances of “nigger” were appropriate and which made you feel awkward?”

“How many white people were in your theater and did they laugh at the appropriate times?”

“Why wasn’t there more slavery in the film?”

“Why was there too much slavery in the film?”

“Why didn’t this film solve racism?”

“How did this film make up for 400 years of black oppression at the hands of white people?”

“Why was the n-word used so many times?”

“Why are all black people who disagree with you stupid sheep who can’t possibly have the same understanding and appreciation for blackness that you do?”

“Why should D’Jango Unchained be 100% accurate to all of the events that occurred during and around slavery?”

“Why should D’Jango Unchained be 100% accurate to all of the events that occurred during and around everything that’s ever happened to any black person ever at any point in time?”

“Why only sellouts and uncle Toms can’t get excited about seeing white slave masters get their comeuppance?”

“Is that one dude gay for holding Jamie Foxx’s dick?”

“Why they selling them dolls though?”

“How can a white man make this movie when Tyler Perry hasn’t even gotten a chance to make his historical opus on slavery yet?”
• create a first draft attempting to answer your question with sources or just anecdotal references from conversations at the beauty salon, barbershop, basketball court or any family get-together.
• revise the first draft for with more racial overtones and insults about anyone who potentially disagrees with your point of view.
• create an outline for your project as it stands
• revise again with more racial overtones and insults about anyone who potentially disagrees with your point of view
• edit for surface errors and mechanics and realize white people don’t even care about all this.

RESOURCES:
LOGISTICS:
• This assignment is due by the end of black history month or you will have your blackness revoked.
• All forms of media must be as long enough for everyone to want to roll their eyes and change the subject all ready.
• This assignment is 50% of your blackness for 2013
• Format: Mp3, video or written
• Sources there is no limit or minimum for sources that must be used in this assignment. If you are black that is source enough to pontificate on the very idea of this film for hours.
• All people with degrees in African American Studies MUST complete this assignment or they will have their degrees revoked.
You need to be logged in to see this part of the content. Please Login to access.

7 Comments

  1. I think i'm gonna make a video.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

  2. I will participate

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

  3. Stop… You had me at D'jango.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

  4. This is brilliant. can I email my assignment to the show?

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

  5. Brilliant! I don't know if I can sit through Precious again but I'll try to do all of the visual resources.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

  6. Mike in London (the

    01/20/2013 at 6:40 AM

    http://metro.co.uk/2013/01/18/django-unchaineds-j

    just read the first paragraph. I promise you.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

    • Hysterical article!! Thanks Mike in London.

      [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us '0 which is not a hashcash value.

Leave a Reply