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TTM 43: Obsessed-Like

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In a very special episode Rod and Bassey discuss Issa Rae’s “Insecure.”

Twitter: @rodimusprime @Basseyworld

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9 Comments

  1. Hey Rod and Bassey!

    In real life I get Nathan’s reason for disappearing and Kendrick’s acting was superb … But I just root for Issa and Lawrence so hard on this show that I don’t want anything to hold up the return of their relationship. I don’t want to accept anything that will hold up Issa and Lawrence’s relationship.
    I’ve been living with depression my whole life. After I realized in my early twenties that something was going on with me and was going through the process of figuring out treatment, someone I thought was my best friend was completely unsupportive and never reached out to check on me even though I was open about what I was going through and reaching out to her. I had to pull all the way back from her because I didn’t have it in me to try to figure that relationship AND my mental illness out at the same time. It made me more cautious about being open to other friends, because what’s the point of being open to people about if they will just disappear anyway. I can see how Nathan could know more about what’s going on with him, but not wanting to go further into detail if he’s used to being shut down anyway. I’m wondering what his reasoning is for saying he’s back “for good” now. How is he so sure and what did he wrap up in Houston? It might have been something other than treatment, like one last murder.

    • Also, what does Andrew do? He got a nice ass house. And Molly is so lucky that people don’t get what they deserve, because Andrew and his hair are too good for her.

  2. 3SnapsandaTwirl

    10/02/2018 at 10:38 AM

    Man, this finale was great, but I also that it felt so short. When it went to credits after Issa was laying on the couch, I literally screamed, “Wait, what the fuck?” It felt short and sort of anticlimactic. But since some time has passed, I can see that some shit did happen and there was some closure to some storylines. I mostly just have to acknowledge that this was still the set up for the next season, so I need to chill my disappointment.

    The one thing that I see up and down my timeline a lot is about Nathan. Debating whether he is trash or not. I’ve got to say that I related so much to Nathan. I struggle with anxiety and depression and sometimes I just tap out of communicating with other people. I can’t do it. I’ll go to work. I’ll show up at obligations, but my best friends will call or text me and I’ll just read it and can’t bring myself to respond at all. I’ve also done that to a potential partner. Sometimes I just get so weighted down by my own shit, and even just responding to a text is exhausting. Now, I still recognize that this sudden change in communication is trash. I know that it’s trash, but that also feeds into me not responding. I’m already weighted down, and i can’t find the energy to respond, and then I have this voice telling me that I’m horrible for not responding, which drains the last of my energy, and then I get anxious about how the person will respond when if I do reach out, then a voice telling me that they will be pissed off and call me garbage, which makes me feel more like garbage and on and on and on. It’s a horrible cycle.

    Most of the people in my life don’t know that I even struggle the way that I do. I do such a good job of putting a bright and bubbly face on, so when I do drop out for awhile, they make all sorts of assumptions about why it must be. Thankfully, I’ve been in therapy for a few years and I’ve gotten better about being more vocal about what’s happening with me. Although, I will still lie to people that I don’t feel that comfortable opening up to. I’ll tell them that I was just busy with work instead of actually I was dealing with crippling anxiety and depression. But I really related to Nathan. I still acknowledge that it’s really fucked up to ghost people like that. And when I have done it to potential partners, I have come back with an apology and try to explain, but I also understand that they have no obligation to forgive me or continue fucking with me. Ghosting is fucked up, but I appreciate that Nathan at least showed up and apologized. I’d understand if Issa said fuck you, and moved on, but I’d also appreciate if they showed us more of what was going on with him to really highlight that it was actually a mental health thing rather than him just coming back with a really unsatisfying apology.

    Also! I’m glad that Issa got some help for her block party. I can’t wait to see what happens with her, Condola, and Lawrence. And I’m so glad that Molly humbled herself and apologized to Andrew. It seems like she might actually be moving forward and growing now!!!

    Love y’all! Thanks for doing these recaps! Can’t wait for this to switch to This is Us and for Season 4 Insecure!!!

    • 3SnapsandaTwirl

      10/02/2018 at 10:51 AM

      Oooh! Also, did y’all peep that Kelli mentioned she had an abortion? Do you think that this might affect anything in her relationship with Tiffany? I know that Tiffany made her the godmother, but the way they argued at the baby shower, there really seemed like the was something more to why Tiffany didn’t let Kelli participate in planning the shower. Maybe Tiffany assumes that Kelli doesn’t want/like kids, and she just made her a godmother to soothe that fight without having to really address the underlying problems. I think this could be possible especially if she and Derek set up legal guardians, then Kelli will never have to take the kid, but she still gets to feel special and like she’ll always have a place in the kid’s life.

  3. rodimusprime

    10/02/2018 at 10:30 AM

    R & B,

    I love that greeting, BTW.

    To put youngins up on game, men like Nate come in hot and heavy, on some insta-relationship plan, are good for two things: cash and prizes. If you don’t take them seriously, recognize them from the start, and never have sex with them, you can get hella close to being gifted a building—or whatever their efforts can provide. But he will be gone in about month. Why he ghosts isn’t important and none of your business. Maybe narcissism. Who cares.

    Nathans ALWAYS came back. If it took him a month to ghost her the first time, he will try to pursue her for two weeks, then ghost again. After second ghosting, he will come back and ghost her after 3.5 days. This will keep happening until he gets idols to one day of pursuit prior to ghosting. These re-appearances will always be initiated by the ghoster. On the one hand, Issa is fortunate to have made it to 30 without knowing this game. On the other hand, the lack of experience made her susceptible to Nate’s issues.

    What annoyed me most is that he came through on HER birthday with JUST flowers…TO MAKE HER BIRTHDAY ABOUT HIM. That AND he assumed she would be available! Typical beige, light eyed behavior. If he wasn’t a barber, he would be a Kappa!

    Was it just me or did she see him taking pictures all over LA but when his old demon eyed ass told her his sob assed story, he said he was out of town? And Andrew needs to leave that Molly situation alone. He doesn’t deserve that!

    Cheers!

    Ms. Smart

  4. Hey Rod and Bassey!!!

    I’m actually listening to y’all and had to send this in. While watching the show I yelled “TALK YO SHIT ROD AND BASSEY, TALK YO SHIT!!!”

    This was in response to Lawrence dating the girl from Tiffany’s party and Issa asking Molly what’s the end game to get actions. Y’all be predicting…

    I really enjoyed this season finale and as much as I hated Nathan the past 2 episodes, I really wanted to give him a hug. Kendrick be acting!

    Anyway, love y’all!!!

  5. rodimusprime

    10/01/2018 at 9:48 PM

    Hey Rod and Bassey

    What a great a finale!

    I loved the two conversations between Lawrence and his dad and Molly and Issa!

    Loved the advice Lawrence’s dad gave him and Issa told Molly the unequivocal truth about herself! Molly finally took an internal evaluation of herself and realized ..she ain’t shit!!!…lol Naw she kept taking L after L after L until SHE became the office villain over Taurean and learned to humble herself. Shoutout to Asian bae Andrew looking like an Asian pimp with his hair down like that!!!

    So glad Issa met with that music nonprofit and that she linked up with Tiffany’s crazy crew friend who did the movie event.

    Lawrence and Issa -better end up together at the end of Insecure that’s all I want ! I’m loving how cool they are with one another even if he is dating Tiffany’s friend who setup the movie event!

    Nathan….Nathan….Nathan I feel for him and if Nathan was a real person -I would hope he has access to proper medication and therapy if he needs it. That being said ,that’s still not enough of an excuse for him ghosting on Issa , sorry it’s not…lolSay !

    Kelli -she better get a spin-off at the end of Insecure that’s all I know.

    Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon-Insecure is one of the greatest shows just for mentioning that movie!!

    Had to quote this great tweet about every seasons finales:

    Andrew Hammond

    @ahammsportsgeek

    Issa at the end of season 1-Sad on a couch outside after being dumped.

    Issa at the end of season 2-On someone else’s couch with no direction and no home.

    Issa at the end of season 3-On her own couch, in her own place making her way. “

    Great job on the finale Issa ,Natasha ,Prentice and Regina King!!

    Peace and love Rod and Bassey

    Trey_swindu744

  6. Hey, Rod and Bassey! I’m sad this season of Insecure is over, but all good things must come to an end. A couple of things. Rod…you are STILL in denial about Molly and Dro. How can you not see how GONE she was for him? She was disinterested in a casual sexual relationship from the beginning. She wanted more, because that’s who she is as a person. She gave him a key to her house. I know you have been out of the dating game for a minute (Hey, Karen) but do you realize how much it means to give someone access to all your worldly possessions and your most intimate things even when you’re not around?? You’re literally saying to someone, you can have access to ALL my shit whether I’m there or not. And, even if you do have some sort of “understanding” with a person that they’re only allowed to use the key at certain times, you really can’t control that at the end of the day, and if you give them the key you’re saying you’re okay with them having to ability to come and go. I say all that to say, you don’t do that for a casual sexual relationship. She was head over heels for that goofy ass nigga. And the fact that she referred to him as her last relationship or whatever when she was talking to Andrew confirmed it.. lol
    Okay, this comment is long, and bout to get longer because there is something that is really bothering me about the way people are characterizing Kelly. So a lot of the talk online has been that she’s always the butt of the jokes (which I don’t agree is true because all of them stay getting dragged by one another) and basically that she’s playing the role of the fat, funny friend. Also, people seem to take issue with the fact that all of her relationships have been super casual or just about sex. They want her to have a “real shot” at love like everyone else.So here are my issues… I feel like if Kelly were more “traditionally attractive” people wouldn’t be so put off with the fact that she don’t give a fuck about these niggas. Honestly, this show needs someone whose storyline isn’t centered around the pursuit of a serious relationship. Some of the comments I’ve seen really show people’s biases against slightly bigger women having the nerve to not crave being in a relationship. I’m glad Kelly is the character they chose to not be pressed about finding a man. She’s having fun, and a lot of people don’t feel like she’s entitled to do so. She’s not even written like that self deprecating, fat friend that people are making her out to be. She’s just really fucking funny, and if she were skinny, people would take it at face value. Anyway, I shortened that thought as much as I could, and hopefully I still made my point. Sorry this was so long. Sike! I regret nothing! Love y’all!

  7. rodimusprime

    10/01/2018 at 11:12 AM

    Hi Rod and Bassey,

    Firstly, thank you so much for recapping this entire season of Insecure. It’s really nice to hear from sane people about this show, lol. For some reason, even people whose content I generally trust have really strange opinions about these characters – specifically Lawrence – and I don’t understand it. But you guys are usually measured and fair to the characters, and I appreciate that. This show is too well-written and thoughtful for people to be out here acting like things are so black and white.

    Because of that, I’m sure you’ve discussed it by now, but I’m pretty sure Nathan has bipolar disorder, right? Or at least some kind of depression. And I’ve been really surprised by how many people either haven’t considered that as an option or don’t care. Either way, if that is what’s going on with him, I’m really looking forward to next season, because I trust this show to handle it well. I also love that it was framed this way, where it seemed like ghosting and it really, really hurt Issa, while the reality may be that Nathan was suffering. And that’s not to say that what he did was okay, but I appreciate the conversation around mental health and also how it affects your loved ones. Because your pain doesn’t excuse you from treating someone terribly, even if that’s not what you meant to do. I deal with this myself, and have honestly ruined friendships and it’s been hard on my marriage when I deal with my depression unhealthily. So I like where this came from and where it seems to be headed.

    I also liked that Issa didn’t immediately give in to Nathan, though I think he would’ve been able to explain it better given the time. But she needs to do what’s right for her, and it’s okay if she’s not willing or ready to put in the work to deal with all his baggage. That’s not her job. She’s made some really great decisions this season, and it was nice to see it end on a high note for her. I’m really rooting for her and Lawrence, separately or together, to just be healthy and happy.

    Sorry this was so long, but thank you again! Can’t wait for This Is Us!

    -Ashley

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