Yay! The NBA is back!

I just want to get my thoughts out about the NBA being back. I have loved the NBA since I was a kid. I was a fan of the Charlotte Hornets since they came into the league back in 1988 I was 9 years old. I loved the cheering in the stands, the sold out arenas, and the hype of the playoffs. I even played basketball when I was younger. It has been a part of my life. When I heard that the lock out was over and saw how many people had so much to say (good and bad) about it ending, I wanted to speak my mind about it. I feel that there are some people who used to love the NBA then something happened and they lost that love. For others, they are just not fans at all.

Either way, I feel the voices of the people who love this game are being drowned out by people who don’t share the same enjoyment of the sport. I always have and always will love the NBA.  There is nothing like the start of the season when everyone is fresh and ready to play and there is nothing like the playoffs where everyone is fighting for their playoff lives. Now I didn’t end the lock out like Rod but I can say I love the fact that NBA is back. I LOVE this game baby!

You need each other.

• Kobe and Pau Gasol secretly despising working with each other while needing each other more than ever. This all came to a head when the Lakers were swept out of the play-offs by the eventual 2011 NBA champs, the Dallas Mavericks. Every pass that went off Gasol’s hands and landed out of bounds had Kobe looking at Pau with rape in his eyes. And every huddle during a time out had Pau looking at Kobe like “I wish I had called in sick today.” Pau played piss poor last year against the Mavs and needs Kobe’s faith in him just as much as Kobe needs Pau to play good again. Say what you want about Kobe but he’s a leader and if he believes you can get the job done then so goes the rest of the team. My favorite part about the Lakers collapse was Phil Jackson looking like he already had his plane tickets to Bermuda and that “I need some space” email drafted to send to Jeanie Buss. That was some good ass drama. The rumors about affairs and teammates violating the man code with each other’s fiancé’s and stuff only made the drama better. Now Mike Brown is the “coach” for the team. This year the stakes would’ve been even higher as Kobe is 100% aware that he doesn’t have much time left. The team could implode around Kobe or be driven to win like never before. And the people who hate Kobe will still be hating either way.

• Side note: Lamar Odom looks so happy man. As my father would say, “He’s in love like a big dog.” I love playing “Is Lamar still smoking weed?” game like once a week. Just look at his endorsements and his TV appearances. He’s either selling your $5 boxes from Taco Bell or eating nachos out of the NBA championship trophy. Those are stoner ads man. I don’t know if I’ll ever look at Lamar Odom without checking the redness of his eyes again.

Boom!

• That Greg Oden season ending injury that we all hope won’t happen but we all KNOW will happen. The only thing Greg Oden has really given NBA fans is a classic ESPN advertisement. Other than that what can we say for dude? A handful of good games every season and a reminder why some times picking the big man number 1 over all is the wrong choice? Not to mention the countless hours of disasturbation by ESPN analyst about his wasted potential and unfortunate circumstances. I bet if you add up all the hours of diatribes about the sadness of Oden’s knee injuries it’s longer than his actual time played in games.

• Side note: You know who gotta be real real happy about Greg Oden being hurt all the damned time? Brandon Roy. I swear that nigga gets a pass for being injury prone. People constantly shit on the Charlotte Bobcats for not drafting Brandon Roy despite him refusing to work out for the team but everyone forgets the rumors of Roy’s chronic foot issues. I’m not saying that the Bobcats made the right decision going for Adam Morrison but Roy had his issues too.

Is he too corny to be controversial?

• Dwight Howard still dominating the NBA sans post game. For true fans of NBA big men has there been anything more frustrating than “Smallville” refusing to take the initiative to develop some aggressive post moves? This dude is the first center with “passive aggressive” post moves. I swear it seems like Drake is his footwork coach. Maybe it’s just his attitude towards life but he never seems to demand the ball in the paint in clutch situations. He just can’t make that leap where he would go from “problem” to “un-guardable” in the paint. How many times do we need to see that play-off loss press conference where he talks about touching the ball only 3 times in the 4^th quarter? How many times can his teammates go HAM from the three point line while looking him off in clutch situations? How many stupid gangly elbows is he going to land in an opponent’s grill by accident? I have no problem with intentional elbows but the ones that occur by sheer carelessness and lead to him fouling out? At this point this is just who Dwight is. He’s never going to make it to Superman status but it’s still fun roasting him as he continues to use his sideline dancing antics and sense of humor to distract us from his ring-less fingers.

• Side note: I feel like we’ve been deprived of the “Dwight Howard shooting a grenade launcher in the Modern Warfare commercial” controversy. When Kobe did this last year it shut down the media for a couple days. Outside the Lines even had a special “let’s bring in some black people” episode discussing the effects of a “role model” shooting a gun in a national commercial. This time … nothing. The lesson here? People still hate Kobe.

He was this comfortable BEFORE being paid to be on the set...

• Shaq on TNT. I love the NBA and I love ratchetness. We know this. It’s like 90% of the reason I watch ratchetball wives (and ratchetball wives LA). Now what would be more filled with drama, bitterness and hate than Shaq on TNT acting all spiteful? Shaq has never been one to hold his tongue and he’s a little too petty to be politically correct. I bet he’s jealous of the niche that Charles Barkley has carved out for himself in his post playing career as the “people’s champ” when it comes to looking at the past with rose tinted glasses. That’s a dynamic I want to see play out on the show. Not to mention the TNT studio crew replaying the Barkley “scoop and punch” clip where he used all of his old man strength to take apart a young Shaq. Every post game live interview will be filled with sideways slander from Shaq. I feel like Shaq still has a couple of ignorant inflammatory off the cuff remarks in him. Maybe something about Hitler and Omri Caspi. It could happen.

• Side note: How many enemies has this guy made in his career? And I don’t mean people who hate Shaq. I mean people he’s turned into punching bags on his way out the door. Has he ever left a team and had something good to say about every one?  He’s shitted on Phil, Penny, Kobe, D’Anotni, Dwight Howard, Erick Dampier, Stan Van Gundy and my personal favorite … Jason “White Chocolate” Williams. At this point I bet it’s impossible to show a clip of an NBA team where Shaq doesn’t have something snarky to say. Not to mention this guy is just barely retired! That means that the current players don’t see him as this elder statesman to be tolerated like they do Barkley. We could see some legit trash talking in those post game interviews. I need this in my life!

As long as the lock out is going on I may as well put down the things that I’ll miss from the NBA season when it doesn’t happen. I’m pretty sure Bill Simmons already wrote something just like this but I hate that nigga, so fuck him. I’m jacking for beats on this post. Plus I didn’t read that shit because of my limited intellectual capital.

Slim trash diet.

• Eddie Curry showing up looking slimmer than he’s ever been in his life. After about 3 weeks of higher than average numbers everyone will realize that without his weight he can no longer just stand in the paint like an immovable object. A week later the “why is Eddie Curry getting benched?” stories will start and a month after that he’ll be showing up to games with Popeye’s crumbs on his shirt. I don’t even know what team Curry is on right now but I bet it’s some sort of restaurant. Now we’ll never get to see what skinny Eddie Curry was capable of.

Don't get use to Paul wearing a Hornets jersey.

• Chris Paul reminding everyone that he’s easily the best point guard in the NBA as he put his wares on display to try to get a team to sign him in the summer. The Paul to OKC trade rumors will start then they’ll be followed by the Paul to New York rumors. After that we’ll have the Chris Paul to Los Angeles rumors, Paul to the Clippers, Paul to Orlando, Paul to The Bucks and eventually we’ll have Paul to the Hornets. Why? Because the new collective bargaining agreement will probably have a franchise tag that keeps these interesting trade team ups from happening EVER AGAIN!

• Side note: Am I the only one who finds it odd that Chris Paul doesn’t have a nickname? Who is the last great point guard that we had in the NBA who NEVER got a nickname? John Stockton? I’m at a loss. He didn’t even get the “first initial – last name” treatment like Derrick Rose.
• Side note 2: Tye Diamond reminded me that his nickname is “CP3” but honestly isn’t that just fucking lame? Doesn’t he deserve something awesome like “Magic” got? Maybe “The Nut Cracker”. Yeah let’s go with that.

This was the happiest he was all year.

• The Tracy McGrady resurgence / collapse on the Miami Heat. It would take about 3 months to realize that the T-Mac we grew to love in Orlando has been long since done. Once most casual fans who make up most of Miami’s fanbase realize that Tracy actually played last year for the Detroit Pistons the novelty will wear off and his back will start getting all “Coach K” on him. I’m going to miss the slow turn from hope to outrage to utter sadness at T-mac let’s everyone down. I really wanted to hear the first “aww” of the crowd as T-Mac decided to go for the finger roll even though he’s on a fast break all by himself.

He'll get around to working on it next off season.

• Rajon Rondo STILL missing jump shots. At this point I don’t know if we can even explain how and why Rondo’s jump shot is so bad. The key to stopping the Celtics has been the same for like 4 years now. You just back all the way off Rondo and dare him to beat you with the jumper and he can’t do it. Even still before the all star break we’ll be hit with at least 75% of Celtics fans trying to convince us that THIS is the year Rondo has that jump shot working. They’ll tell us stories of off season shooting sessions, shooting coaches and a new form on his jumper before eventually giving up on him around March when NBA teams get serious about making the play-offs. Also some of the older Celtics will be doing their typical “coast until we have something to play for” routine putting extra weight on Rondo’s shoulders to carry the team with scoring.

Still much more comfortable doing THIS than playing defense.

• Carmelo and Amare leading the NBA in dunks and points scored by 2 players on the same team while also leading the NBA in dunks given up and points scored by the guys they should be guarding. It’s great that NYC has some star power back in their city but good grief I’m sick of Knicks fans spending 90% of the season trying to buy into D’Antoni’s style of run and fun basketball like the play-offs will be played at a break neck pace. When it’s down to half court defense and offense Amare and Melo are going to start looking a lot less dominant. I still think the Knicks would’ve approached 55 wins or more this season.

• Side note: I still think the Knicks should’ve kept Felton in that deal with the Nuggets. Not sure what that would’ve cost them but Billups is way too old and not versatile enough to really run this offense how it should be run. I also think Billups has no chance of defending the quicker guards in the East.  Denver has to be looking to trade Felton or Lawson this year right? It seems redundant to have them both on the roster doing damned near the same thing.

I think he wore this when he handed out turkeys for Thanksgiving in the Indianapolis projects.

• Whatever is going on with Zach Randolph’s “drug kingpin” of Indiana case that people always seem to forget about. At this point I’m feeling like Z-Bo is Kaizer Soze. How else do we explain him getting a pass on allegedly having a fleet of SUV’s with hidden drug compartments and still not having a trial yet? Last year was Z-Bo’s Kobe moment where he was out there acquitting himself on the court nightly. If the case still is hanging over his head maybe he can win MVP this year?