The Black Guy Who Tips

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Random Thoughts For Those Bored At Work


1. I was listening to The Insanity Check Podcast the other day and they were talking about reformed domestic violence offenders. If there is a 12 step program for people who are addicts of domestic violence wouldn’t it just be called “pushing her down the stairs”? Actually it would probably depend on how many stories up you were.

2. You know how we worship the founding fathers? What if we had a time machine and brought them back and then they acted like retards because of all the technological advances? Like they would be mystified by the invention of toilets and cars. Things we take for granted like racial equality would completely piss them off.

3. So Montana Fishburne has a porn tape now. Not a sex tape. A porn tape. Big difference. One you get a check up front before filming with a camera crew and the other is done with a handheld and just 2 people in the room. The real question here is why does Montana need a porno name? She goes by “Chippy D” but says she wants the porn tape to make her famous like it did for Kim Kardashian. Isn’t the Fishburne name more famous than “chippy D” right now? I bet Judy from Family Matters is rolling over in her grave.
4. And you know how porn is. They think everything is up for a joke. They will have “Chippy D” doing “Not Pee Wee’s PlayHouse” or “Not The Matrix”


5. After listening to a clip of Wakka Flakka on “Where’s My 40 Acres?” podcast I came up with a new word. “Nignorance” – self explanatory.

6. I love when people hit me up on Twitter and let me know exactly what lines they thought were funny from the podcast. I’m always like, “Yeah I did say that. It was funny! That is right!”


7. This debate about the mosque being built a couple of blocks away from where the towers fell on 9/11 is really opening my eyes. I thought we were fighting radical terrorist that used the Islamic religion as a weapon. But the way people (even some of my friends) are reacting to this news I realize now that they’ve always seen it as a war against Muslims over all. That saddens me.


8. When I see a cute woman working the drive through window I wonder “what went wrong in her life?” That’s messed up man. If you extrapolate that out then what I’m really saying is that it’s okay for ugly people to have minimum wage jobs.


9. Another Montana Fishburne thought: Isn’t every person in porn someone’s “Chippy D”? We only care because she’s famous and deep down we feel that porn is a career field that only acceptable for people without other options. We still have a view that porn is exploitation of the poor and abused people even thought in 2010 it’s more of a get money quick move than anything else. We don’t truly respect a woman’s sexual independence or right to do what she wants with her body. Amazing isn’t it? And that’s not even getting into the fact that we never feel the men in porn have any sort of mental or physical abuse they are acting out against. Maybe we are the ones who are fucked up in the game.


10. So you can catch more flies with honey than shit? First of all I don’t believe that. Secondly, who sees a fly and WANTS to keep it around? And lastly… who is the person who conducted this test?

11. I don’t cry cause I’m sad. I cry because I have allergies. I’m allergic to emotions.

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1 Comment

  1. trojanscooter

    04/20/2011 at 3:01 PM

    Good post. One thing though, Judy from Family Matters isn't dead.

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