A Free Comedy Talk Show With the Motto - Nothing's Wrong If It's Funny

Month: April 2011 (Page 1 of 6)

157: Captain Negro

Rod and Karen discuss listener feedback.

Intro: Can’t Truss It – Public Enemy
Outro: Runaway – Kanye West

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

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Should Adjective J Be Eating Chicken?
Yes! You have to survive man. No! You need to find a way to stick to the choices you made   

Presiding While Black

WARNING: What you’re about to read is a bit out of place for this site. I try my best to keep “The Black Guy Who Tips” a place for you guys to come and escape reality and catch a few laughs. If you choose to read the below post then just prepare to deal with my own issues with racism, politics and patriotism. I completely understand if you don’t want to read this or if you find it to be a bit lengthy. Hell… maybe it’s even got too much rambling in it. This post was more for me than it was for you but if you’re still interested …

I’m a 32 year old man but I was briefly moved to tears this week. Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of fatigue dealing with all the subtle racial nuances of a special unrelenting segment of Obama’s critics. Maybe it’s because I had just read an email sent out to my entire department telling us we couldn’t leave our cubicles for a soda or a snack unless it was during our schedule breaks. Did I mention I am 32 years old? I’m just writing this for myself more than anyone else because I want to examine why I was so affected by this week’s events.

For me, April 27th , 2011 will always be the day when President Obama had to unveil his birth certificate (again) for all the world to see just to stop baseless speculation about his legitimacy as an American citizen. For what? To appease a segment of society that will NEVER be okay with him holding office over our nation. To quash the attention that people like Donald Trump are receiving from legitimate media outlets while riling up “birthers” and TV ratings? Meanwhile anyone with any common sense knows that these people will never fully recognize Obama as president of the United States of America no matter how much evidence lands at their door step.  As soon as the birth certificate was revealed (again) the question started up about his grades. The implication in THIS case being that he must’ve benefited from affirmative action since he was black and got into a good school. It was MORE race baiting.

The thought that you can hold the highest office in the land but still have your credentials checked because you happen to be black is very disturbing. It’s a constant reminded that the operative letters that offer the most insult in “DWB” are “WB”. This feels like every time that a black man has ever been harassed for driving on the wrong side of town except this happened to the most powerful man on the planet. It signifies the fact that before all else he is out of place in his current position and has to PROVE his legitimacy for anyone who can gather enough media attention to cause a stir. He’s guilty of presiding while black and nothing else.

I think back to the night of the election results and how exuberant I was about our country and a feeling of belonging that I hadn’t ever felt before. There was a pride in my chest that swelled with belief in progress and unity. I felt like we as a people had broken a racial sound barrier together. I still do believe that to a large extent but some of my enthusiasm has waned. This whole debacle feels like someone hit the reset button on my unsaved season of John Madden football. It’s just not fair.

It’s been a long time coming. It started with the Clintons originally raising suspicions about Obama’s origin and now it’s escalated to where anyone with a webcam and 10 minutes of time can question him. All of this to remind us that he’s “other”.  Since then there have been countless incidents that have hinted at his race and highlighted the fact that he’s just not like most Americans. I’ll just remind you of a few.

  • Hilary Clinton’s supposition that “hard working Americans” wouldn’t vote for Obama.
  • The Tea Party’s accusation that he wasn’t from America
  • A republican representative sending out pictures of him superimposed onto the face of a monkey
  • The entire reverend Wright debacle that lead to one of the most poignant speeches on race of my life time
  • Donald Trump’s latest stint in the media which lasted longer and garnered far more attention than it should have.

Democrats and Republicans have been complicit in this. Both sides of the media have done stories on all of these topics. Maybe these things move ratings meters but they are also divisive and destructive to the psyches of many black people across this nation. It’s a constant undertone that simply says, “you’re less than. You are different.” I’m used to dealing with this underlying tone in most media so rest assured that’s not what made me cry.

What really got to me today were thoughts of my father and the land he owns in Fort Mill, SC. My father  (who is still alive) bought some land a while back when I was a teenager. It’s just a plot in a residential community along the side of a lake. We’d go down there and go fishing every once in a while. Sometimes he would talk about building a house down there when he retires and living there while fishing the days away. In my own blissful ignorance I have never truly understood or thought about why he bought that land. There have been times when I’ve even felt it was silly. He would check out quarterly valuations of his plot and tell me how it was increasing in value. Some days his face would beam with pride because he got an offer from a perspective buyer but he would always decline to sell it.

At this point I think the offer could’ve been for double the value of the land and my father would still say “no thanks.” And now today I think I understand. That land represents my father’s right as an American citizen to own something that only he can claim. That is his piece of America and of the American dream.  I am 32 years old and I feel stupid for just now realizing this. My father shouldn’t HAVE to own anything to center his patriotism around but the truth is that we are black first and American second. No matter how I would like to be perceived this is the awful truth. My patriotism comes with a buy in that simply isn’t required of people like the ones who question Obama’s legitimacy.

So I cried for a few seconds. I cried because a feeling that I haven’t truly given into for over 2 years so of rushed back. It’s like finding out that cancer that you thought you had beaten is no longer in remission.  I cried for my father who literally has to own a piece of America in order to feel like he is no longer owned by America. I cried because I felt humbled a bit because I do live vicariously through Obama and his family. I DO take pride in their blackness and their successes. I will not apologize for that. I cried in protest to the recognition that Trump and his ilk receive as if they have qualified points of view that should be considered.

I do not want to feel this melancholy foreboding sense of worry every time I turn on a radio or TV or press play on a podcast. I thought I had conquered the ability to be hurt by the ignorance of race baiting. Still, when I watched Obama address a room full of journalist who were treating the absurd as if it had credence and should be considered I felt “less than”. I don’t have a happy way to end this. I just don’t want to feel “less than” any more just for being black. I don’t want to be told not to care simply because other people aren’t ready to deal with their own issues of race. I would love to feel American first and black second but that can’t happen until other people decide to accept that premise before dealing with me and “the blacks”.

“This land is your land. This land is my land. But I’m going to need to see a receipt. “

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Is Rod A Little Bitch For Crying?
Yes, there is no acceptable reason for a man to cry? No, you cool man just don’t let it happen again!   

156: Toilet Humor

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Should Obama Have Waited To Show His Birth Certificate?
Yes! You always play the big Joker near the end. No! This whole thing needed to stop right now! He shouldn’t even have shown his birth certificate at all!   

Rod and Karen are joined by Will and Justin to discuss Obama, Angry Feminist, Crazy Love In Chili’s, Ninjagenius, Phonte, Amber Rose, the bathroom at work, student drivers, 2nd hand clothes, KFC dentures, Dwight Howard, Flavor Flav closes shop, Lebron James uncle, sex at a Christian radio station, Sword fight in church and short pen!s syndrome.

Intro: Dreams – Little Brother
Outro: 6’6″ 250 – Larry Lank Lank

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @RhymeOverReason @Mr_Montgomery
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

155: The Right Reasons To Hate Tyler Perry

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Is It Okay For A Black Person To Dislike Tyler Perry’s Movies?
Yes, you can dislike Tyler Perry for good reason. No, you’re just hating on a black man and being petty.   

Rod and Karen are joined by Bassey Ikpi and Michael Felder to discuss Twitter arguments, Steven Seagal: Lawman, Tyler Perry, a gas beggar, was Eve the first prankster, When you know you’re a nerd, 3D sex movie outsells Avatar, Sex Toy party fight, Facebook bank robbers, Eddie Long tries to settle and Lil B

Intro: T!tties and Carrot Cake – Thug Friends www.absolute-ism.com
Outro: Yeah You – N.E.R.D.

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @basseyworldlive @inthebleachers
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

Guest Website: Michael Felder – http://www.inthebleachers.net/
Bassey Ikpi – http://basseyworld.wordpress.com/

Ep.60 “Hamburger Helper Rap…” pt. 2 of 2

Sp. Guest Karen (@saydatagain) from TBGWT

Topic:
– Instant Rap
– Beyonce’s wack ass song
– Chris Brown sucks as a rapper
– Akon is a greedy African
– Fabolous’s Idea for a Supergroup
– K.R.I.T. on Coachella
– Nick’s Eminem Comedy Special on HBO
– G-Unit’s Newest Member

Feat. Tracks.
Nitty Scott MC – ALl Hip Hop Radio Freestyle
Aleon Craft – Look Twice
Tennesse – Arrested Development
Postaboy – God By My Side

Intro: Random Axe – The Hex
Outro: Saigon – Saigon Sings the Blues

iTUNES: http://bit.ly/h6BLcv
Website: http://WheresMy40Acres.com
Twitter: @phenomblak, @silentXmedia, @msmusiclover, @saydatagain
email us: wheresmy40acres@yahoo.com
Join our Facebook Page: http://bit.ly/aNUKwc

Ep. 59 “Kanye West Vs. Wiz Khalifa, Hoodrat Chronicles” pt. 1 of 2

Topic:
– Lil B at Coachella
– I’m Gay is NOT gon change shit
– What is Just Blaze Blazing
– Kanye West vs. Wiz Khalifa
– Tyler Creator Hit by a Car
– Instant Newz

Feat. Tracks.
XV ft. kendrick Lamar – Textbook Stuff
CL Smooth & Pete Rock – T.R.O.Y.
Smoke Dza – Fuck is you talkin bout
Paris Jones – In My Head ft. Uness

Intro: J*DaVey – Quicksand
Outro: Missy – Funkyfresh

iTUNES: http://bit.ly/h6BLcv
Website: http://WheresMy40Acres.com
Twitter: @phenomblak, @silentXmedia
email us: wheresmy40acres@yahoo.com
Join our Facebook Page: http://bit.ly/aNUKwc

The Blackest NBA Players Of All Time (At Least As I Remember It) Part 6

Rafer “Skip To My Lou” Alston – This dude has one of the blackest stories of anyone who made it to the league. He played college basketball for Fresno State but no one knows this. What we know about Skip is that he was a Rutger Park basketball legend. He also was the star of the And 1 basketball mixtape series when it initially started up. Everyone knew about Skip even before he finally landed a job in the NBA. People speculated about his ability to run and NBA offense. They thought he’d try those same illegal park moves in a regulation game but Skip never did. One moment stands above all others, the day he bitch slapped Eddie House and made House’s headband come off his head. That was Skip at his blackest!

Robert Parrish – I never really liked Robert Parrish. He played for the Celtics during a time where I felt like they represented everything racist about the NBA. Now that I’m grown I realize that’s not his fault. He definitely stuck out like a gangly sore thumb at the time. I guess the blackest thing about him is that he got caught trying to receive some marijuana in the mail. How he didn’t end up in prison I’ll never know. I’m guessing it’s cause he was owed for dealing with all those years of racism in Boston?

Micheal Cooper – Look at him! Just look at him! He black ya’ll… black as hell.

Micheal Cage – Everyone always talks about AC Green’s luxurious Jherri Curl but real NBA heads will tell you that Cage had the definitive curl of the day. Where did the sweat start and the activator juice begin? No one will ever be able to tell. He looked like a he should be singing back up for Billy Ocean.

J.R. Smith – Okay he’s definitely one of the most tatted up players in the game. He has a penchant for playing stupid as hell when it comes to his shot selection. But he also was known for throwing up gang signs after making threes. I think at this point we simply can’t deny his blackness.

Etan Thomas – finally some positive blackness again. He is the definition of not judging a book by it’s cover. If you see him on the court he appears to be a goon who specializes in bullying the competition. Off the court he’s a thoughtful philosopher on black culture. He’s a poet and a journalist with a mind for his people. He black ya’ll.

J.R. Rider – this dude went through more than a few run ins with the law. I was at a Hornets game one day when he was playing for the Hawks. He was so upset with his playing time and the way they lost that he sat down on the sideline and NEVER made the flight back to Atlanta. He was dismissed from the team the next day. He was known for being chronically late for reasons like his alarm clock not going off. When he was cut from the Nuggets he threatened to kick a reporters ass right on the steps of the arena as he was leaving to go back home. Black Dynamite.

Gilbert Arenas – Gilbert is an odd cat. Very ecentric and outspoken for a guy who also pulls guns on people in the locker room. He’s known as a chronic joke-ster.  He once shit in a teammates shoe as a joke. That’s not very black at all. I mean where do they do that at? Before you judge him harshly though, remember that he’s the same guy who read an article about a kid who lost his whole family in a house fire and was so moved that he adopted the boy. He’s an enigma but he’s also black.

Dr. J – he’s a cultural icon of cool personified. Show me a man who dislikes Dr. J and I’ll show you Javelle McGee. Not only did he invent the free throw line slam dunk and had the coolest fro of the 80’s. He also kiss someone’s momma on the lips on national TV. He’s a closer. He’s black.

The Blackest NBA Players Of All Time (At Least As I Remember It) Part 5

Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins – he used to name his dunks. I would explain further but you would be better served by going to YouTube and listening to him give the names of his dunks. He also pioneered the ultimate ignorant basketball move: Dunking so hard that you break the basket and hold the game up for hours.
Jason “White Chocolate” Williams – He was the epitome of style over substance. He was like a Pistol Pete gone wild. He lead the league in “most no look passes bouncing off a team mates head and out of bounds” for 3 straight years. He went to the same high school as Randy Moss too. Jason Williams just looks like the kind of guy that would rather make a flashy turn over than a simple pass no matter the situation of the game.
World B. Free – I’m gonna be real honest with you right now. I don’t know shit about World B. Free. Not even what his original name was. If he showed up to my house with a pizza I would think he was a delivery driver. The only thing I know is that this dude’s name was World B. Free and that’s black enough for me. He must’ve been like the Chad Johnson of the NBA.
Honorable mention to Zach Randolph, Bobby Sura and Melo
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