A Free Comedy Talk Show With the Motto - Nothing's Wrong If It's Funny

Year: 2011 (Page 22 of 31)

161: Prime

Rod and Karen are joined by Larion and Adjective_J to discuss sex toys, states of inebriation, reparations through alcohol, going to the bank, Facebook drama, Twitter will ruin Mother’s Day, medium loving, Why is NPR so quiet, Pregnancy announcement in Gamestop, donation guilt, Chaplain liar, mother-in-law murder plot, sword ratchetness, more time in jail, Nas wins an Emmy, Bout to kill ma kid, carjacker beat up, sleeping with a kid, Chris Brown’s mom and consequence identify’s with Amber Rose.

Intro: Don’t Look Down – Kanye West
Outro: I Just Want To Love You – Jay-Z

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @Simpsei @Adjective_J
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

Sponsor:
www.shadowdogproductions.com
And they’re on Twitter: @ShadowDogProd

Larion’s Website: http://wcmconline.com
J’s Website: http://adgi.blogspot.com/

pollcode.com free polls
How Do You Like Your Love
Crazy and hard Sane and medium   

Want A Free Audio Play?

Go to http://www.shadowdogproductions.com/tourism.html and click “add to cart.”  See the box marked “discount code”?  Answer a trivia question about The Black Guy Who Tips show and this short comedy Audioplay, “Tourism” is free.  Put in the wrong answer, and you get nothing. (Of course, you can try more than once)

Here’s the trivia question: What is Rod’s nickname for Dwight Howard?

Know the answer?  Come over to our website and pick up your free comedy Audioplay.

Random Thoughts For Mother’s Day

1. The Dollar Store sells pregnancy test? I’d treat those bad boys like an NBA play-off series. Best of 7 results wins. “Hey I got 4 positives and 3 negatives. I guess I’m not pregnant?”

2. All of my favorite emails begin with the same thing… “your payment has been received”

3. The more I think about it that dunk that Blake Griffin did over the Kia in the All Star slam dunk contest was pretty stupid. Who buys a car because it has been dunked on? Isn’t that what we’re all trying to avoid in real life? Maybe if they had driven the car into Blake Griffin and it blocked his shot then I’d think about buying a Kia.

Sidenote: Has Baron Davis ever looked happier than throwing that alley-oop for Blake while sitting in the driver’s seat? I wonder how Cleveland is working out for him? Too soon?

4. I had the saddest thought today. I bet the Beastie Boys all vote Republican now. What if they are birthers? I know they have a new album coming out soon. I bet they have tracks named “Just show us the birth certificate”, “Bronze Monkey” or “Fight For Your Right To Tea Party”.

5. It’s not officially the end of the world until some dude who only goes by the name “Snake” is our last hope.
Sidenote: Heroes who wear eye patches but can still shoot with the accuracy of a class A marksman freak me out. How can they do that with no depth perception?

6. When is Angry Birds going to come out with a Kwanzaa edition for “Angry Birds: Seasons”?

7. So if someone wants to be your friend on Facebook but they used to bully you back in the day… what does it say if you accept them? Does it mean you’ve forgiven them or does it mean you’re still a pussy? Or does it just mean you want to look at their pictures and see if their life is better than yours?

8. Sometimes you have to do the extra stuff in relationship. It’s about the little things like stealing her Facebook passwords. If you don’t take the time to look through their pockets for phone numbers then can you really say you care?

9. Will we ever truly have the real life innovations like the ones they have in video games already? I would like health packs to sustain me when I do stupid shit. Also I’d like to be able to save my game before important moments through out my day. Like if I have an important meeting with my boss I’d save first. Wait… is my boss going to actually be the boss level of my video game?

10. I don’t need no fucking number 10 random thought.

11. The n-word is the only slang term that white people invented first. And it stuck too. It has the same meaning that it had back when they started using it. It wasn’t co-opted and changed in meaning. Then black people made it too cool for them to every have it back. At least they still have “secret Muslim”, “thug” and “Tyler Perry fan” to call us.

12. If you’re walking down the street and you see a news camera pointed at your torso but it’s not focusing on your face… it’s time to hit the gym. I’m like one news report away from hitting a treadmill at 5 am every morning.

13. What if Tyler Perry is from an alternate universe where criticism was never invented? It would make sense right?

14. Isn’t a serial killer just a hoarder of corpses? They need their own TV show on A & E

160: Angry Birds Of A Feather …

Rod and Karen discuss listener feedback.

Intro: A Day In The Life – Andre 3000
Outro: The Bizness – De La Soul

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

pollcode.com free polls
If Your Girl Kicks It With Ratchet Chicks Is She Ratchet Too?
Yes birds of a feather … No she could the one who is different   

159: Sword vs. Taser

Rod and Karen are joined by Scarfinger and Sherry from Scarcasm Live Podcast to discuss celebrating death, dating experience, how to solicit, Jeff Goldblum, PETA, Professor X pimping, Manager promotion, angry voice mails, career builder, Kid Rock and the NAACP, Flocka escapes again, knife vajayjay, drug deal change, sword skater, boob cheese, insensitive teacher or hoax, porn on comp, low sodium killer and the Rapest.

Intro: Ex to The Next – Gangstarr
Outro: Kick, Push – Lupe Fiasco

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @Scarfinger @SherrysJoy
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

Sponsor:
www.shadowdogproductions.com
And they’re on Twitter: @ShadowDogProd

Guest Website: http://scarcasmlive.ning.com/

pollcode.com free polls
Swords or Tasers?
Swords Tasers   

158: What the Double Sided Dealio With That?

Rod and Karen are joined by Mr Spann of The Spann Report Podcast and Deirdre from Where’s My 40 Acres Podcast to discuss an old flame, bad work environments, pee cleansers, boobs vs boners, homeless man with highlights, inflation by tee shirt sizes, chicken day, shaming bad tippers, baby robbery, Mariah’s twins, Facebook divorces, hotel sheets, doctors on coke and how porn has transformed men.

Intro: Swept Away – The Roots
Outro: Honey – Mariah Carey

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @Mr_Spann @MsMusiclover
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

Sponsor:
www.shadowdogproductions.com
And they’re on Twitter: @ShadowDogProd

Deirdre Website: http://www.zillasays.com/ http://msmusiclover99.com/
Spann Website: http://thespannreport.com/

pollcode.com free polls
Do You Think Deidre’s Ex Is Gay?
Yes he’s gay. No man would let you do that to him unless he was gay. No he’s not gay. It’s perfectly understandable to want to experiment with your partner.   

157: Captain Negro

Rod and Karen discuss listener feedback.

Intro: Can’t Truss It – Public Enemy
Outro: Runaway – Kanye West

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

pollcode.com free polls
Should Adjective J Be Eating Chicken?
Yes! You have to survive man. No! You need to find a way to stick to the choices you made   

Presiding While Black

WARNING: What you’re about to read is a bit out of place for this site. I try my best to keep “The Black Guy Who Tips” a place for you guys to come and escape reality and catch a few laughs. If you choose to read the below post then just prepare to deal with my own issues with racism, politics and patriotism. I completely understand if you don’t want to read this or if you find it to be a bit lengthy. Hell… maybe it’s even got too much rambling in it. This post was more for me than it was for you but if you’re still interested …

I’m a 32 year old man but I was briefly moved to tears this week. Maybe it’s the cumulative effect of fatigue dealing with all the subtle racial nuances of a special unrelenting segment of Obama’s critics. Maybe it’s because I had just read an email sent out to my entire department telling us we couldn’t leave our cubicles for a soda or a snack unless it was during our schedule breaks. Did I mention I am 32 years old? I’m just writing this for myself more than anyone else because I want to examine why I was so affected by this week’s events.

For me, April 27th , 2011 will always be the day when President Obama had to unveil his birth certificate (again) for all the world to see just to stop baseless speculation about his legitimacy as an American citizen. For what? To appease a segment of society that will NEVER be okay with him holding office over our nation. To quash the attention that people like Donald Trump are receiving from legitimate media outlets while riling up “birthers” and TV ratings? Meanwhile anyone with any common sense knows that these people will never fully recognize Obama as president of the United States of America no matter how much evidence lands at their door step.  As soon as the birth certificate was revealed (again) the question started up about his grades. The implication in THIS case being that he must’ve benefited from affirmative action since he was black and got into a good school. It was MORE race baiting.

The thought that you can hold the highest office in the land but still have your credentials checked because you happen to be black is very disturbing. It’s a constant reminded that the operative letters that offer the most insult in “DWB” are “WB”. This feels like every time that a black man has ever been harassed for driving on the wrong side of town except this happened to the most powerful man on the planet. It signifies the fact that before all else he is out of place in his current position and has to PROVE his legitimacy for anyone who can gather enough media attention to cause a stir. He’s guilty of presiding while black and nothing else.

I think back to the night of the election results and how exuberant I was about our country and a feeling of belonging that I hadn’t ever felt before. There was a pride in my chest that swelled with belief in progress and unity. I felt like we as a people had broken a racial sound barrier together. I still do believe that to a large extent but some of my enthusiasm has waned. This whole debacle feels like someone hit the reset button on my unsaved season of John Madden football. It’s just not fair.

It’s been a long time coming. It started with the Clintons originally raising suspicions about Obama’s origin and now it’s escalated to where anyone with a webcam and 10 minutes of time can question him. All of this to remind us that he’s “other”.  Since then there have been countless incidents that have hinted at his race and highlighted the fact that he’s just not like most Americans. I’ll just remind you of a few.

  • Hilary Clinton’s supposition that “hard working Americans” wouldn’t vote for Obama.
  • The Tea Party’s accusation that he wasn’t from America
  • A republican representative sending out pictures of him superimposed onto the face of a monkey
  • The entire reverend Wright debacle that lead to one of the most poignant speeches on race of my life time
  • Donald Trump’s latest stint in the media which lasted longer and garnered far more attention than it should have.

Democrats and Republicans have been complicit in this. Both sides of the media have done stories on all of these topics. Maybe these things move ratings meters but they are also divisive and destructive to the psyches of many black people across this nation. It’s a constant undertone that simply says, “you’re less than. You are different.” I’m used to dealing with this underlying tone in most media so rest assured that’s not what made me cry.

What really got to me today were thoughts of my father and the land he owns in Fort Mill, SC. My father  (who is still alive) bought some land a while back when I was a teenager. It’s just a plot in a residential community along the side of a lake. We’d go down there and go fishing every once in a while. Sometimes he would talk about building a house down there when he retires and living there while fishing the days away. In my own blissful ignorance I have never truly understood or thought about why he bought that land. There have been times when I’ve even felt it was silly. He would check out quarterly valuations of his plot and tell me how it was increasing in value. Some days his face would beam with pride because he got an offer from a perspective buyer but he would always decline to sell it.

At this point I think the offer could’ve been for double the value of the land and my father would still say “no thanks.” And now today I think I understand. That land represents my father’s right as an American citizen to own something that only he can claim. That is his piece of America and of the American dream.  I am 32 years old and I feel stupid for just now realizing this. My father shouldn’t HAVE to own anything to center his patriotism around but the truth is that we are black first and American second. No matter how I would like to be perceived this is the awful truth. My patriotism comes with a buy in that simply isn’t required of people like the ones who question Obama’s legitimacy.

So I cried for a few seconds. I cried because a feeling that I haven’t truly given into for over 2 years so of rushed back. It’s like finding out that cancer that you thought you had beaten is no longer in remission.  I cried for my father who literally has to own a piece of America in order to feel like he is no longer owned by America. I cried because I felt humbled a bit because I do live vicariously through Obama and his family. I DO take pride in their blackness and their successes. I will not apologize for that. I cried in protest to the recognition that Trump and his ilk receive as if they have qualified points of view that should be considered.

I do not want to feel this melancholy foreboding sense of worry every time I turn on a radio or TV or press play on a podcast. I thought I had conquered the ability to be hurt by the ignorance of race baiting. Still, when I watched Obama address a room full of journalist who were treating the absurd as if it had credence and should be considered I felt “less than”. I don’t have a happy way to end this. I just don’t want to feel “less than” any more just for being black. I don’t want to be told not to care simply because other people aren’t ready to deal with their own issues of race. I would love to feel American first and black second but that can’t happen until other people decide to accept that premise before dealing with me and “the blacks”.

“This land is your land. This land is my land. But I’m going to need to see a receipt. “

pollcode.com free polls
Is Rod A Little Bitch For Crying?
Yes, there is no acceptable reason for a man to cry? No, you cool man just don’t let it happen again!   

156: Toilet Humor

pollcode.com free polls
Should Obama Have Waited To Show His Birth Certificate?
Yes! You always play the big Joker near the end. No! This whole thing needed to stop right now! He shouldn’t even have shown his birth certificate at all!   

Rod and Karen are joined by Will and Justin to discuss Obama, Angry Feminist, Crazy Love In Chili’s, Ninjagenius, Phonte, Amber Rose, the bathroom at work, student drivers, 2nd hand clothes, KFC dentures, Dwight Howard, Flavor Flav closes shop, Lebron James uncle, sex at a Christian radio station, Sword fight in church and short pen!s syndrome.

Intro: Dreams – Little Brother
Outro: 6’6″ 250 – Larry Lank Lank

Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @RhymeOverReason @Mr_Montgomery
Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com
Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com
Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

« Older posts Newer posts »