Rod and Karen discuss guilt vs shame when it comes to conflict resolution, Will Smith Red Table Takeover, Coronavirus News, Whites Only graduation party, Michigan deputy fired after racist Kamala meme, Black family harassed for acting Black and sword ratchetness.
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Thank you for your discussion about guilt and shame in this episode, such an important topic! I finally watched Red Table Talk, motivated by your praise for it here, Rod. I had been reluctant to watch because it’s on FB, and I try to stay off that platform and the idea of watching a full episode of a show on there was very unappealing. But I was wrong! The show is so good. I even watched the “entanglements” episode, which really wasn’t as embarrassing as the memes had led me to believe; it was actually so beautiful and honest. I really admire Will and Jada so much after watching. Rod, have you watched the Brené Brown episode of Red Table Talk? I’ve wondered if you’ve read her books or watched her TED talk or interviews. She is a shame researcher that explores widespread assumptions about vulnerability — how people misunderstand it as weakness, or how leaders (like managers) can exploit it, use it inappropriately, etc. She has this quote from Theodore Roosevelt that she uses in her book DARING GREATLY about the “Man in the Arena” that I think resonates with what I hear you all saying about how to move through the world and communicate with other folks, I’ll copy/paste it below in case you’re interested. But basically Brown says it comes down to, “if you’re not in the arena, if you’re not doing the work and putting yourself out there for the same type of criticism you are trying to give, then your opinion does not matter to me.” Anyway, thank you for your continued conversations about shame, guilt, conflict, and for making it funny. It is absolutely all Will Smith’s fault.
Oh, let met know, if you’re interested in Brené Brown and haven’t read any of her stuff yet. I’ve been wondering if I should gift you all some of her books in audio and ebook formats. ALSO, did you see the family medical results Red Table Talk episode? Jada had a parasite?! What? Apparently 8% of the population has parasites. Even though they’re rich, the whole family has stomach problems. Got me thinking about my own gut flora…
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man [or woman] stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly…”