Rod and Karen discuss Trey Songz going to anger management, Eboni K Williams sparks a gender war, loneliness is deadly as smoking 15 cigs a day, Juul settles lawsuit for underage vaping, the assassin game, UK athletics director suspended, Isaiah Washington praises his Klan-member school teachers, white woman who lied on Emmett Till goes to hell, heroine chili powder, 7 men arrested for robbery spree, man attacked with golf club for walking on cart path and sword ratchetness.
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I think where Eboni k Williams went wrong is projecting her preferences on other people. If she doesn’t want to date a bus driver, that’s fine but leave other people’s dating preferences alone. She sounds like some black men who try to justify why they only date white women.
So glad Carolyn Bryant is dead. Hope it was painful. The only death that would make me happier is Trump’s because when that orange bastard is finally gone I’m gonna find his grave and spit on it just like I did to his star on the walk of fame.
Normally, almost all the time, I stay out of gender wars commentary because I feel like at least 75% of it is people projecting and generally unproductive conversation, but every once in a while it gets so loud that it becomes impossible to avoid, and this was one of those times. It was refreshing to hear you guys talk about it because the way the meta-discussion around it was happening was making my ass itch and I was relieved to see there were others who saw this the way I did. First off I honestly had never heard of Eboni before this so I have no opinion on her expressing her dating preferences, she is entitled to feel however she wants about that and date or not date whoever she wants, and how I feel about it is irrelevant. HOWEVER, why were bus drivers catching strays for no reason? As you mentioned on the show, that’s a solid union job with a decent middle-class income, full benefits, and a retirement pension, and they’re doing just fine in life. A lot of the people defending what Eboni said were saying “there’s nothing wrong with being a bus driver” but the fact that you feel the need to say that is kind of a tell, isn’t it? And it would be a lot easier to believe you believed that if you didn’t immediately undermine that statement when your next sentence is talking about “settling” which, whether you intended it or not, strongly implies you feel like that person is beneath you in some way (Eboni herself did this when she said “ordinary and average is not good enough for you either,” she would’ve been better off saying nothing at all). It bothers me when people do this because it feeds into stereotypes about how educated people look down on blue-collar workers that the right often successfully plays against us (you can substitute “bus driver” with truck driver, electrician, construction worker, etc). I usually try to defend our side against this sort of rhetoric (and we know the right absolutely does not give a shit about the working class) but it’s pretty hard when people tell on themselves like this. Like Eboni said, I just want better for all of us, and this isn’t how to do it.
I’d date a bus driver because 1.. I don’t know how to drive; 2. I want the bus fare hook up, $2.75 one way is a lot of money; and 3. it’ll satisfy my uniform kink without the guilt that police uniforms give me. lol.
Seriously, though, I’m so sick of this particular gender war battle. NOBODY has to “settle” to be with someone who doesn’t fit their preferences or values, but don’t use your preference to generalize what everyone in your gender desires OR to put down everyone who doesn’t fit into your preference. I do believe that there is a nuanced conversation to be had about straight Black women (or any straight woman) feeling pressured to have a man in their life to feel whole or to successful. And, sometimes, that overwhelming pressure, either internally or externally applied, will cause women to attached themselves to the wrong man thus the next man has deal with the baggage of that woman’s fucked up relationship. One could even suggest that developing too high standards is a protection mechanism to avoid the vulnerability required for dating. I don’t know. I just be talking shit sometimes. lol. I would date someone who was economically or academically “beneath” me if they checked all the other boxes. I’m a grown and independent woman. Financially I can take care of myself no matter how hard the struggle. What I want is emotional security, if that makes sense.
I wrote the comment before you were done taking about it and you practically said the same. Good.
And I also agree with Rod that a good relationship is luck+work.
It’s luck that I found someone who still loves me and finds me attractive and same with me. I was in relationships before, and they were way shorter where I just didn’t feel the other person anymore. And it was me! I couldn’t force myself to be in it anymore and had to break it up.
Plus I think it’s wrong to speak about lowering standards. Everyone has different standards and it’s not a hierarchy with most things.
I don’t watch any sports ever so the fact that my husband also never watched any sports is a big plus, we have to compromise less here and watch happily star treck together.
For a big sportsfan this would be a minus. I don’t think that being into sports or not has any hierarchy to it. It’s just personal preference.
I think you can have your preferences with dating that’s normal. But when you start with who you wouldn’t date you will hurt some people.
So don’t.
I know that white supremacy is a very bad thing but how Eboni used it to explain her preferences- she lost me.
Not everyone can be over average by definition.
If everyone improves the average will go up. And I’m bored with the gendered expectations. A man can provide by taking over childcare for example, not only by earing money.
My mom is 70. About 10 or 15 years ago, she confessed that she puts up with some BS in her marriage because she likes the comfort it provides her–a comfort that she never had as a single mom who didn’t get married until her children were grown. I don’t know how old Eboni is but she might have been raised or lived in a way that was so hard that she just wants to be taken care of.